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Archive for March, 2010

5 Secrets to be a good wife

March 31, 2010 Leave a comment

Remember the day when you first had a crush on your husband.  Many of us may have thought ‘I wonder if he’ll be mine’.  During the dating stages, the girl more than likely would have spent a considerable time getting ready in order to make herself presentable and appealing to her future mate.  We would also have thought about saying the right things so that the guy would like not only what he saw in appearance but also our personalities.

When we get married, we often take for granted the early days of courtship and how we use to make the effort of getting the partner to like us.  The novelty of courtship usually wears out after the first couple of years of marriage.

Here are a few tips to remind you on how to be a good wife.

1.  Take care of your personal grooming.

Whilst husbands should love us for the way we are, we need to keep them from having a roaming eye and keep their heart and everything else at home.  First and foremost, take care of your appearance because YOU want to.  Certainly having clothes for comfort, especially when we have kids, is practical when we don’t have the time but make an effort to look worthy as you would for your friends or work.  Would you still be attracted to your husband if he didn’t keep to his own personal grooming by brushing his teeth or combing his hair or wearing shabby clothes?

2.  Turn down the nagging

We are all human and hence all humans make mistakes.  In the eyes of a wife, husbands can make them more often than anyone else on the planet. Wives have a tendency to see the smallest things and make them into something big.  Many arguments could have easily been avoided.

As a wife myself, I have one less thing to nag about which is my own husband’s cupboard.  It use to really irritate me when I had done the laundry and folded everything up to then go into his cupboard and find his clothes had gone haywire.  I remember I would always kick up a fuss when he got home from work.  Now to keep the peace, his clothes are folded and left at the edge of the bed for him to put away himself.  That way I don’t have to look into his cupboard and get myself uptight over the state that it might be in should I open it.  We haven’t argued about his cupboard now for years.

Try to let go of one thing every so often that you find yourself nagging him about.  The woman your husband married was a pleasant, warm and loving person.  You may not be that person, your husband sees now.  Allow your husband to see the woman he fell in love with.

3.  Keep him happy in bed

A friend once told me ‘when thing’s start to go wrong in the bedroom, things will wrong in the relationship’.  Love making is a beautiful part in marriage and should not be seen as a chore.  Sure, men’s sexual needs can be higher than a womans and women may crave for more physical affection but as we women know, this does not have to be in the form of sex.  Unfortunately the majority of men will look for it elsewhere if they no longer get it at home or if the woman is hostile when she does give it to him.  Sex is a healthy part of marriage and the lack of it may signify a problem.

4.  Be supportive

A man’s ego can easily get knocked down by negative comments and rebuilding it back up may be a heavy task.  The one person whose opinion will mean more than anybody elses is your opinion to your husband.   Be supportive of your husbands work, decisions, his hobbies and personal interests.  Also be supportive of him when in it comes to your in-laws even if you don’t get on with them.  The bible says that a man will leave his father and mother to be joined with his wife and although you may not see it, your husband loves you regardless of what you may think of his parents.  Remember this, mother’s usually loose their sons to wives but when a daughter gets married, mothers gain a son. Think of your own circumstances.  How close are you to your own parents to that of your in-laws?  Generally speaking, daughters ties to their own families are harder to break than that of sons.  So cut your husband some slack and try to get on with your in-laws for the sake of supporting your husband.  After all, your husband may practically live with your parents 🙂

5.  Express your love and appreciation often

A woman loves compliments  and a man also dotes on praise.  It makes them feel good and appreciated.  When your husband is at home, try and do things for him too so that if these things were to go missing, he would miss you and think about you when you’re not around.  Try and join him in activities that he would like to do such as watch the football as there may have been many a time when you have dragged an unwiling spouse round the mall for a day or made him watch a chick flick and remember he did those things to please you.  A woman forgives hard when he has forgotten an occassion such as a birthday or anniversary so try and remember special dates and remind him of your love and appreciation.

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Can mothers of young children be in ministry?

March 23, 2010 Leave a comment

I have looked high and low for a bible study that would give me absolution for not being actively involved in ministry.  Why?  I have two young children.  My son is almost six years old and my little girl is nearly one. Before my daughter was born, even with one child, I was heavily involved and active within my local church.  I would attend and teach bible studies, attend prayer meetings and go to seminars.  Having a second child has thrown me out of balance and the things that I loved to do in ministry before, I just can’t do now.  This led to feelings of guilt and subsequently looking to God for absolution.

Thankfully, last night during my devotion, I was comforted by the Lord who told me He knew my heart’s desire to do more for Him and the ministry.  Thankfully God knows our limitations and since He blesses us with young children to take charge of, apart from our daily communion with God, our second ministry is a life of serving our children.  I was shocked by a tweet yesterday where statistics show that 80% of “Christian” kids turn from God in their 20’s.  I’m praying that my own children will not be in that 80% so serving them in God’s love and teaching them about Him and His wonderful love is my priority.

I also took comfort from reading a blog “Mother of young children…..Do what you can” and that Jesus accepts us not because of what we do for Him but what He has done for us.

The Bible says, “He made us accepted in the Beloved [that is, Jesus]” (Ephesians 1:6). And nothing “shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39). Love God, and within the limitations He has sovereignly placed in your life at this time, do what you can.

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How to share your wordpress blog

March 19, 2010 2 comments

I’ve been blogging now for one week and trying to find a link to share my blogs has taken me nearly all afternoon.  So you don’t get stressed out in doing the same I thought I would make it easier for you.

I’m no tech geek so when I say its as easy as 1-2-3, believe me- it really is

To share your blogs on facebook, twitter, email etc. Visit

http://www.addtoany.com/buttons/for/wordpress_com

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Categories: Blogs Tags: , , , , ,

Demons are real

March 19, 2010 3 comments

I can never forget my first encounter with a demon when I was just 16 years old.  I was a new believer in Christ and didn’t really know about the demonic world.  All  I knew at the time was how much I wanted to serve the Lord and tell everybody about the wonderful love of Jesus Christ.

I can remember that it was an extremely hot and sticky night so I kicked off the blankets and whilst I was doing that I turned to look at my clock which was on my beside table.  It said 2:30am.  (The witching hour is between 12 midnight and 3am but I did not understand what relevance this had at the time I had my experience).  When I turned my head back on my pillow so my eyes were looking up at the ceiling, I could feel a presence in my bedroom and when I looked at the bottom of my bed I saw a black figure standing at the foot of my bed calling my name.  The figure was completely black.  It did not take the shape of a human.  I can only describe that it appeared to look like a shadow or a figure in a black cape, with what I would call a tail where feet or legs should have been.  It did not appear to need the floor for support as it was as though it was in the air.  The figure also had piercing red eyes that looked straight at me and as it called my name, I remember sitting up on my bed.  However, something made me look down to where I was suppose to be laying down and I saw myself still laying on the bed.  I can only assume that my spirit or soul had come out of my body into a sitting position.  It was at this point that I knew something was terribly wrong.  I did not feel scared at the time and the only thing I recollected as being able to get me out of that experience was to say the name of Jesus.  When I tried to speak, it wasn’t my voice that was speaking .  However,  the more I repeated ‘In Jesus’ name’, I could begin to distinguish my voice coming through.  I must have said Jesus name several times before the figure vanished.

I have had a further two demonic experiences.  My last experience was when my husband and I visited Sarasota in 2000.  We were both asleep and I had felt a hand on top of my face pushing my face down into the pillow.  In my mind, I had thought that it was my husband who had just put his hand over my face but when I reached out my hand to touch him he was facing away from me.  His back was facing me and it was at this point that I started to panic.  I knew  it was a demonic spirit that was trying to oppress me and it took me a few attempts to say the name of Jesus out loud.  It was as though I was hyperventilating and I could not say the name of Jesus.  In my mind I was repeating the name of Jesus over and over again but for some reason or another, His name would not reach my mouth.  After some time of wrestling with this unclean spirit, I finally manage to say the name of Jesus out loud and it was at this point that it left me.  I had learnt that whilst the Lord can read our thoughts and mind, the devil and his demons are not able to hence it is important that whenever we rebuke the devil, we say it out loud.

The bible teaches us in Eph 6:12 that we fight against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  New Testament writers firmly believed in demons and John in Rev 9:20 speaks of a future time where men will worship devils and even now many pagan people today are ardent spirit worshippers.

Jesus gave us the authority in Luke 10:19 to overcome all powers of darkness.

I have also had experience with the Ouija board whereby my college friends had asked the spirit of the glass a question.  They had asked if it had  a message for anyone. It had spelt out my name and they did not want me to have contact with them.  When my friends had asked why, it had clearly spelt out  that I was a child of God.  This made it clear to me that we as followers of Christ have authority to overcome all powers of darkness (Luke 10:19).  Friends do not dabble with any type of occult practice.  When we allow this to happen we allow doors to be opened in our lives for the enemy to infiltrate.  We must be careful therefore not to rejoice that the spirits know us or are subject to us but we rejoice because our names are written in Heaven (Luke 10:20).


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5 Practical ways to be a good husband

March 18, 2010 2 comments

One of the requirements a wife wants in a marriage is a good husband.  I carried out a recent survey on what a good husband should be and do.  Whilst husbands gave a list of traits that they would want in themselves, which I must admit was very impressive i.e. a protector of the family, provide for the family, set an example for the family by being God-fearing and righteous, it seems that married men overall seem to be doing a good job from the comments that I have received from satisfied wives.

Here are 5 practical ways to be a good husband

1. Listen

Communication is an important aspect of marriage and is also two-way.  Husbands listen to wives.  It’s not just about being their sounding board or being able to give advice.   A wife isn’t necessarily looking for you to be her problem solver.  What wives in general,  look for is that you are listening to what she is saying about the children, about tasks that may need to be done, about an occasion or activity that is coming up or even about the events that occurred during the day through work, home or friends.  What women don’t like doing is having to repeat themselves several times over because their spouse hasn’t listened to them previously.

2. Help with the house chores

There’s a saying a ‘woman’s work is never done’ and this relates to ironing, laundry, hoovering, cooking, washing and cleaning.  Wives don’t expect you to do all of the above but they would like assistance in alleviating the pressure of carrying out house chores.  It may be folding away laundry or help with washing or drying the dishes or even dusting around the house or getting the vacuum out for a quick whizz around the front room.

3.      Be affectionate

Being affectionate goes beyond the bedroom.  Some women are not the touchy- feely type but others will respond very well to a hug or cuddle.  This provides a sense of security and love for the woman.  Please take note – a cuddle and hug does not necessarily mean that it will lead to sex.  Also a woman loves to be told sweet things such as ‘You’re beautiful’, ‘I miss you’, or even ‘I love you’.  A simple text showing affection will never go amiss and I wouldn’t be surprised if it put a smile on your wife’s face. Texting during an argument, although you may not receive a reply back from your wife, will still mean a lot and could ease the anger your wife’s emotion when she receives a text from you.

4. Show respect

A good husband is supportive of his wife’s abilities, goals, aspirations and dreams.  Don’t be  quick to pass judgement or be critical.

It is becoming a trend that some wives are bigger or higher earners than that of their spouse.  If this is the case, rejoice in your wife’s accomplishments and don’t seek to make an issue of who is the bigger earner.  You’ll find more likely than not that higher earnings is not a problem unless you make it a problem.

With regards to kids, when your wife has made a clear instruction or decision about something that your child has asked for, support your wife rather than go against it in front of your children.  Kids can be sneaky and ask you for something when your wife has already said ‘no’.  The best thing to do is ask them what their mother has said rather than giving them a straight out answer.  If you don’t agree with a decision that your wife has made, speak to her when the kids are out of ear shot and then come to a place where both of you can give mutual decision to your children.

5. Take out your wallet

Some marriages have joint accounts so where you have a joint account this piece of advice may not be for you.  For those of you who do have separate accounts, take out your wallet and be willing to share in the expenses of running the home, kids activities, shopping and meals.  Some men don’t realise how much it costs to take a child to an out of school activity and a wife can fork out a lot of money in doing this.  The operative words here are  ‘be willing’.  The last thing you would want is to give your money unwillingly.  Women operate most of the time on emotions and having a husband who isn’t willing would be asking for trouble.

Keep a look out for more traits on how to be a good husband next week.

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A true eye witness account of Heaven

March 14, 2010 Leave a comment

This testimony is of an amazing interview with Rev. Oden Hetrick who visited Heaven many times.  It unveils amazing details of Heaven: The Holy City, The tree of Life, The River of Life, mansions, chambers, The Throne of God, The Sea of glass, companionship & intimacy and so many things that we can only imagine but yet are so tangible in the spirit realm.

God has truly blessed His own children with the release of this video.  I really, really hope All here get a chance to watch and enjoy it all the way through as it is a little more than an hour.

This rich description of God’s Heavenly city matches scripture as well.  Beautiful heavenly insight enhancing our anticipation for Him and His joy for us.

After many years of longing for Heaven and much prayer, Oden Hetrick had a ‘visit’ from 3 angels who took him to Heaven, via Christ’s instructions.  Oden Hetrick has visited heaven more than 80 times.

For those of you who are a little bit sceptical re: “No eye has seen, no ear has heared…” 1Cor 2:9, I assure you that all of Rev Hetrick’s testimony is based on the living word of God and my prayer is that the Holy Spirit, who counsels and guides will minister to you the very revelation of Heaven as God has prepared it for us.

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FAMOUS FAILURES (original blog came from http://trousey.com/?s=)

March 13, 2010 Leave a comment

(I like this blog so much I had to reblog it.  Credit goes to http://trousey.com/?s= )

So many times we let our fears stand in the way of our dreams.
We loose focus on the things God has promised us because we’re too focused on our problems.
At some point we have to realize that we’re not perfect and never will be but it’s ok.
God just wants us to have faith, give everything we have to answering his call and walk with him while doing so.
Everyone has their struggles, faults and a past.
But thankfully God uses ordinary, messed up and uneducated people who will walk with him to change history (Acts 4:13)

-Noah was a drunk
-Abraham was too old
-Isaac was a daydreamer
-Jacob was a liar
-Leah was ugly
-Joseph was abused
-Moses had a stuttering problem
-Gideon was afraid
-Samson was a womanizer
-Rahab was a prostitute
-Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
-David had an affair and was a Murderer
-Elijah was suicidal
-Isaiah preached naked
-Jonah ran from God
-Naomi was a widow
-Job went bankrupt
-Peter denied Christ
-The Disciples fell asleep while praying
-Martha worried about everything
-The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
-Zaccheus was too small
-Paul was too religious
-Timothy had an ulcer
-Lazarus was dead!!!!!

…No more excuses now. God CAN use you to your full potential. Realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! Go after Christ today with everything you have and start living your life the way he’s called you to do it…WITH OUT FEAR!

Romans 8:28-30

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What has Jesus done for you?

March 12, 2010 6 comments

Jesus shows us an enormous amount of love, grace and mercy in our everyday lives.  Testimonies are a great way of sharing how lives have been changed through salvation, faith, healing and miracles.  I want to collect testimonies of how God has helped you to encourage others in faith and help bring those who do not yet know Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour.

So, feel free to add your testiomony in the comment boxes below.  I as well as others look forward to reading them.

My Personal Testimony

I started working for myself when I was 25 years old.  My husband and I decided that we would use our first home as a care home.  I was still working for the National Health Service in the United Kingdom at the time as a Community Learning Disability Nurse.  Our joint salary was enough to pay our mortgage and household expenses but when we decided to convert our home into a care home we found that we would need to purchase another house for us to live in.  My lovely father gave me the deposit to put towards our second home which then gave us a second mortgage.  I thought it would be easy for us to fill the home.   But for six months, there were no clients and  I was struggling to pay two mortgages and all the additional expenses that it came with.   I took up two extra jobs in order to pay the bills as well as my full-time job and believe me it was a hard going.  One evening I was about to give up on the whole business venture as my father who is not a believer in Christ (yet) was pressuring me because he could not see the investment of his money.  Thankfully my husband and mother encouraged me to stick with it and one evening I got down on my knees and prayed.  The financial burden was too much to bear.  I got to a point in prayer where I was literally weeping and relying on Jesus to see me through.  At the end of my prayer, a dear friend (also a pastor) of mine called up to tell me that whatever I asked for in prayer God would provide for me.  She didn’t have a clue what I was going through let alone my prayer request that evening.

Sure enough within a week I had my first client walk through the care home doors and lets just say the rest is history.  God has pulled through for me on many occasions and whatever trials you might be facing at the moment, He will pull through for you too.  Be encouraged!!

(To read more of my personal testimonies read my book ‘Be Somebody’ )


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How to cope with a sick child…

March 11, 2010 1 comment

Sleepless nights, fatigue, crying baby, disorientation, inadequate mind clarity all accompany caring for an ill child.  Madison (my almost one year old) has been poorly now for five days.  I can usually tell when something is about to happen with her health.  Her cheeks become a bright pink and can get dry or flaky.  For this bout of illness, her symptoms started off with diarrhea and vomiting, temperature accompanied by the ever runny nose, itchy gums and a slight cough.  Not satisfied with the effects of Calpol (a pain reliever for children), my husband rang up the General practitioner (GP) on Monday where the receptionist asked what the symptoms were.  I think due to the diarrhea and vomiting, my husband was asked politely to wait for the GP to call.  The pleasant GP called and I ran down with the list of symptoms to be told that Madison most probably had a viral bug and the best thing to do was to give plenty of fluids and he also prescribed some medication to help with the diarrhea and dehydration.  I was told that the symptoms may be around for ten days.  Ten days is a long time for a child to be poorly and it makes you feel even worse when they refuse to eat.  Hence, here’s what I am doing to help me and my child through this tough but normal time and I thought that it may be of benefit to those of you who may be going through the same thing.

1.  Sleep when your child sleeps

Sleep deprivation affects the way we think, function, and handle stress and our health.  If you’re not functioning to the best of your ability, you’re not going to be much use to your poorly child.  This is so much easier said than done when you have a thousand and one things to do especially if you have other children.  If you’re anything like me and house proud, I’ve had to deal with my obsessional compulsions to keep my house tidy and clean.  The house will have to remain as is until Madison gets better.  I noticed that when I did have a rough night and didn’t catch up with sleep the following day, I was moody and cranky.  If you get moody, your moods can easily be taken out on those living with you, namely husband, partner or child and then everyone feels miserable.  Get sleep when you can.

2.  Eat and Drink

As your child needs energy, you need it too.  I have continued to eat meals with my family even though Madison may not be feeling up to it.  If you have another pair of adult hands and your child doesn’t want to be put down, get them to hold your child while you eat. Eating with your family at the table will encourage social interaction and help you get perspective and focus on things that are happening with other members of your family.  It’s important to not block out other members of your family when dealing with a sick child.  Every one needs a little love and attention once in a while.

3. Get some fresh air

Fresh air refreshes the cells and improves the sense of well-being and kills bacteria.  Some people tend to think that when their child is sick, it’s better to stay indoors but I have found that Madison reacts very positively when out, obviously wrapped up against the cold, she stops crying and comes back in a positive mood.

4.  Take turns with your husband/partner

I am very fortunate that I have a ‘hand’s on’ husband.  My husband and I take alternate nights  to look after Madison.  We both work and it’s simply not fair that the burden of caring for a poor child should be solely on the mother.  I have to insist on this shared parental responsibility for the sake of my own sanity. For those of you who don’t have a hands on partner, talk to them and explain how you are feeling.  Sometimes women assume that men are mind readers and should be able to read body language.  Believe me, men aren’t.  They need to have it spelt out to them and if your man wants to be a good father, doing his share shouldn’t be too hard.

5.  Lots of hugs

Cuddles and hugs are definitely a must for any mother and their poorly child.  It gives both individuals the sense of security that they need and crave for.

This list is by no way exhaustive so if you have any more idea’s feel free to share .  Check back tommorow I may have 7 more reasons.

Breaking into the art of blogging

March 10, 2010 3 comments

So, while the world becomes techno/social media mad in order to keep up, I thought, let me write a blog. I’ve heard a lot about blogging and if used correctly, one can earn a living from blogging alone.  As for myself, the aim of blogging in this instance is to share views.  Views about life, love, relationships, kids, womanhood, politics, religion…anything worth having a view about.    I love the tag line of Buzz Marketing –  ‘Because everyone is entitled to my opinion’ and would have loved to steal it but hey I’m not that kind of gal.  As a result, here is my first attempt at writing my blog.

How did I start this new adventure?  First of all, I typed into my search engine  ‘best service for blogs’ to find out which host would be best suited for me.  WordPress came up tops so here I am using their facilities.  I entitled my blog ‘Coffee Break’.  Why? You might ask.  I just thought that it would be cool to have a nice hot drink to hand and read about what’s what or what’s not and to have a place to express one’s views about life in general.

For a person who knows nothing about blogging (forgive me if my jargon isn’t correct), I find WordPress quite an easy application to use.  You can choose a variety of appearances or themes for your blog and preview it to suit your needs.  My blog looks kind of plain at the moment but the most important thing for me is to get my opinion out there.  I’m sure the rest will follow in time (I hope).

I also wasn’t happy with the title of my blog (it had my name on it to begin with) and honestly I was having a tough time finding ways to change it.  Once again I googled ‘how to change title blog on WordPress’ and voila, it gave me the answer.  Click on settings on left hand of the WordPress page which will bring up general settings and you can change your title on there.

Whilst I am writing this, I have another window open where I can utitlise a search engine and give you information that you might need without having to change between tabs (anything to make life simple) i.e. how to direct traffic to your blog.  There’s no point in writing a blog if no one reads it…I signed up to http://delicious.com/ having been referred to it from http://www.webreference.com/authoring/blog_tips/ You need to have a yahoo account to join delicious.com but I’ll have to tell you at a later date if I am getting the right amount of traffic.

All in all it’s taken me three hours to put something this simple on line.  This is amongst getting the dinner ready and feeding the kids.  Not bad I would say for a multi-tasking mum.

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